Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Breathing.


Seems like it's been awhile ya? The thing of it is, I've been sort of consumed with other things. Which is terrible. I hate that. I hate when all your attention is forced to something and you forget who you are and what you like. You give everything to the one thing and you let everything else suffer. That's a crappy thing. Your health suffers, your heart suffers, your motivation suffers. I'm completely to blame for that. I've never been good at juggling. It's one thing full bore. It's one of my worst traits. Which makes me mad and bitter and not very nice to be around. And no.. I'm usually a pretty nice person. Being mad, tired, depressed all the time is sucky. 
I realllllllllllllllllyyyy hate being like a giant pain in the rear to everyone around me including myself. I need to learn to do better. Ya know? Motivation? Where are you hiding you silly thing you!! 

So this week I've tried to do better. I baked, which I love doing. Even though I had to sacrifice some sleep for it.. It was worth it. It was worth feeling that joy again. Doing something for me and me alone. Being creative and full of ideas to try to make come to life. I'm usually pretty good at that. When I make the effort.



Somehow, I forgot that in the mix of the daily hub bub..... My creativity for this week turned out two epic loaves of banana bread and a batch of stellar Owl-Cup Cakes. To die for!!! I found a couple of amazing food blogs. http://arcticgardenstudio.blogspot.com is one that I have gotten so many awesome ideas from!! It's amazing!!


I've tried to take some photos. Not as many as I would have liked. But I've tried to at least give a few shots a try. I hope that I can get back into the practice of doing several shots a day. I miss just catching the daily life of Fairbanks Alaska. As boring or as epic as it may be... But baby steps so far.. and it's gone pretty well I think?                         

This week my goal is to walk everyday. For an hour. Just to get out and have a reason to enjoy the nice mornings we are having currently. Maybe I will take my camera. 

Roll two things I love into one. I know I can do this. 

The next thing I need to make a habit for this week is breathing. That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But when I don't have an outlet. When I'm not feeding that outlet, I'm just a huge ball of nerves and craziness and all I do is hold my breath while I'm getting more and more wound about something that I shouldn't even care about. 
Breath.
Breath.
Breath.

In and out. 
Ebb and flow. 

I've been so wound up with going, going, going , going.. I've forgotten to breath. Plain and simple. One thing and I go on a date with a heart attack. I can feel the angry in me. And that's just because I forgot to breath! 

My new goal. Simmer on it. Wait 5 seconds. Then say something. 

Don't be so quick to pull the dang trigger.

I got this.

Breath..

See.. I'm already doing good.


Current Events:
The Mister is headed in for surgery on his back on Wednesday. We have been praying and hoping for weeks for this day and it's finally made it here! The Mister has been in loads of pain. This doctor and this surgery may help him with a tremendous amount of his pain that he's had for a long time and the current issues that he's having.

We are so blessed that he can have this and have it so quickly. Sometimes help is not always immediate in Alaska. We have had nothing but the best care since this has happened.

We are so blessed!

Woot! Woot!!

Something is brewing with Mr and Mrs Neck. Lots of yelling.. Some late night banjo strumming.. Either someone's in the dog house or someone's on there way out.

And the weather! Holy moly!

We had 70's in North pole this week. Seventy PLUS! No minus there people.
It's been beautiful and cool and amazing.


AND my best friend Dana is on her way to Alaska in August.

This girl has a lot to be thankful for.

Breathing in and out.. in and out..



1 comment:

  1. I just have three things to say. First, I don't mind when your a giant pain...I'll take you in any form. :) Second, whenever you need an outlet - call me.
    i'm always happy to listen...and bitch about life in general on occasion. But I'm betting you knew that lol. Third, I'm so happy for you that your friend is comming to see you! That will be awesome...hope your taking some time off! Love you girl.

    ReplyDelete