I'm up. I can't sleep. I know your probably thinking "Dude.. it's 12:50 PM, What the crazie's are you doin sleepin..?" But I sleep backward from everyone else.
And I just can't today.
I woke up wide awake.. My mind racing.
I've been thinking about my little friend Ab's alot. She's having trouble in school. The kids are bullying her. Making her sad. She's such a cool little girl ya'll.. I mean the coolest of kids.. and according to her momma, she's been trying her best to take it... but theres only so much a little lady can have on two tiny little shoulders.
It's kinda gotten me to thinking about people and the dynamics of other relationships I see. It's crazy how I can see so many adults doing the exact same things to each other. Heck I am even guilty of that sometimes.
Do you think being a bully sometimes carries into being an adult? Do you think that sometimes we end up treating each other the same way we did when we were 7 years old?
Ever since I'd heard about Ab's, I just started to watch people in my daily life and the way they talked to others. Just processing how that exchange happened and how the other person may have felt about the outcome.
I've learned alot. There are people that I know and see on a daily basis that handle people with such respect and love. It's an art that I am in awe of. I've watched as those people have defused situations and struck this amazing balance of getting there point across to someone without overtaking them. It's an art that I am most definately still learning.
But what was really shocking was how many times in the past few weeks I've seen someone bully someone else. How a conversation between adults could have very well happened on a playground over something completely different. It's the exact same conversation I would have had with one of my classmates over kickball gone wrong or something.
I've even caught myself doing it a coupla times.
Just overtaking someone and making them feel small. Maybe as adults it's pleasing to feel that sense of domination over something. Gaining some kind of power that we don't ususally have on a daily basis.
The last time I caught myself doing it.. I apologized, because I actually saw myself doing it. I actually saw what a ass it made me look like. But it made me feel even worse because finally I felt how I made that person feel.
I think sometimes as people we forget what our words can make other people feel like. I'm so bad at that because sometimes I just take things way to far.. I really want to make that effort to be better and do better.
That's my new years resolution. In February.
I don't wanna be an adult bully.
Better late than never right?