I'm as frustrated as I can be.
I went to Nenana again today.. on the promise that the chef would be there, holding our key, waiting for us to come and move into our apartment.
Did that happen?
The chef wasn't there. When the nice housekeeping lady (Lance Mackey's sister in law no less) called him, he had no idea who we were and or why we would be needing an apartment.
He told her that she could open up a apartment for us, not any certain one and we could leave our stuff there... but we couldn't stay there.
We would just leave our stuff in a unlocked room in a building crawling with temporary wildland firemen?? Men and women who god bless them are doing a service to our state, but some who come from less than savory backgrounds..
Ahh no. Not that I have anything really worth stealing, but seriously, it's all I have. I'd like to keep it.
We tried for most of the afternoon and into the evening to try and find someone who knew what was going on.. Nobody did.
We called and called and called the director.. couldn't get ahold of him. Nobody there had any idea about the school or what we were doing there.
I left there late, upset, half crying... too late to wake my friend in Fairbanks, as she is running a marathon tommorrow and I think she's asleep.
So we had to get a hotel.. again.
Im so tired of living out of my car, sleeping in hotels and being in this limbo.
I just want to go home.
Wherever that is.
I miss having a home.
I guess I just maybe thought this would be easy. House, job.. all taken care of. But as they say, if it's too good to be true it probably is.
I talked to my friend who worked there and she was telling me about how some of the other workers are very religious, very strict, straight laced people. They don't like people who look or act in anyway not directed in the bible.
Nobody there has ever SEEN me ... I'm not a freak by any means, but we have talked about this before..
My tattoos.. My hair... How mouthy I am..??
Even if this situation gets worked out.. how long would they keep me? Most people judge first and ask questions later.
So I have decided to start applying again in Fairbanks. I had a line on a job here.. and I am going to go talk to the lady tommorrow. I don't have time to keep waiting on these people. I don't have time for schanagians. I need this to start working out for me and if I have to create my opprotunites, then that's what I will do.
But I am getting a little wary. I am praying for god to help me keep the faith in all of this. I made the move, like he said.. but Im praying he shows me what I'm supposed to do here.
I am sad. I am starting to loose faith. I'm feeling doubt.
But I will overcome. Im strong. I can do this.