"Um where you goin?"
"Well I'm going to work.. you know the place were normal people go to make money, without selling drugs to pay the rent."
"Are you calling me a drug dealer?"
"Nope. I'm calling you a pharmacist, idiot."
"Well you don't have to be all uppity."
Ok, Really? Now I'm uppity huh?
Today when I left for work there were literally 50 people in the front yard and that's a pretty conservative estimate.
People were strung out all over the yard, on the stairs, on the banisters, all over there car's, other people's cars being loud and drinking. The yard was littered with bottles, cups and there trash..
I walk up the sidewalk and what do I see? A long lanky guy sprawled out all over my car's hood.
Oh. No. He. Didn't. I was sooooo hot.
Now, granted, I don't drive a Benz or my dream Volvo. But seriously, what in gods green earth would make this flaky loser believe that he could LAY on top of my car??????
STEEEEAMMM was coming out of my ears.
"What are you doing on my car? GET OFF NOW!"
" Why you gettin so uptight gurl? Your fine when you get all mad!"
" I'm gonna give you two seconds. TWO. Before I show you mad."
"GAWD, you wh.. people are such b*t&@hes!"
Ok, then I got mad, OVER THE TOP MAD. Did he really just try to racial slur me there? Seriously?
So.. I said..
"Yep, I am a bi&%ch and I'm one that wants you to get off her car before she has to knock you in the middle of next week and kick your butt on Thursday. NOWWWWWWW!"
So he does..
AND THEN PROCEEDS TO ASK ME..
"Well maybe you could come with us to the club. You are lookin hot tonight! Shame to waste that on work!"
I love my neighborhood.