I was gonna go for a walk.
Since it's kinda getting hot, ok, scratch that, it's getting hotter than than David Beckham's backside out here, I started off early in the AM to catch a break from the sweltering humidity.
I trot outside first to get the mail and next to the mailboxes was a truck, basically blocking the boxes. Which, in itself sort of p-'d me off, because you can't really squeeze through there when there's someone parked there and secondly, theres ALLL sorts of places to park.. so really.. Why there? I couldn't tell at first if someone was in it tell I walked closer.. but sure enough there was a man inside.
Now, I'm not a judger. Maybe this man's bathroom was being remodeled. Or he'd lost his job and gotten his water turned off. But he didn't look like he'd saw the better part of a shower in several months. He and a comb hadn't been introduced and to be quiet frank, I don't think he had invested any money in Axe or SpeedStick since well, probably never. He was old like maybe 65 and had a shirt on that I think at one time may have been white.
HE WAS GROSS.
So when I see people like him, or scary people who just, well scare me, in the ghetto I try to just keep my head down and ignore. I tried to sweeze past, but he was parked on the wrong side of the road, OF COURSE, and so his face and he's gross stinch was so near my nostrils it was making me tear up.
Well he wasn't havein' that.
"Hey good lookin..."
I say nothing. Partly because I am in shock that this dude is really trying to, I dunno what he's TRYING to do, but it didn't seem good.
"Hey.. didn't you hear me..? I'm tryin to say hello.."
"Yes, I hear you," I say, trying to not get into it with him.
"Well I was wonderin if you would wanna go ridin with me?"
I started to laugh. I mean maybe it was just the sheer fact that this was kinda funny or the fact that this dude reminded me of a some backwoods hillbilly.. ok scratch that.. I've known hillbillies who have looked and acted better.
"Ahh.. not in this lifetime," I said starting to walk away.
"Well I could pay you if want? I've got 20 dollars.."
Did he really just offer to pay me? Isn't that sort of .. well you know what it sorta was...!!!
"Well I've got some pepper spray and I could give you some of that, if you want.. NOW BOUNCE!," I scream turning back to my apartment.
I'm going out on a limb here, but I didn't really expect that, nor have I ever seen any hookers in our neighboorhood, I mean I do live in the ghetto.. but the classy ghetto at least.
I went inside to tell Hubs about what had happened.. and you know what he did?
He laughed. Punk.
Then he said.. and I'm not kidding..
"Wow.. only 20??"
He's SO in trouble.