Sunday, June 7, 2009

The NeighborGurl

So I am fairly certain.. and well.. I'm just going to say it..

I'm amongst friends right?

that my neighbor.. is a crack head.

Now, Rocksee.. that's a pretty serious thing to say.. are you sure..??

Well for starters.. she looks like this.Again.. I don't judge.. But secondly.. she came to my door THREE times tonight. Knocking incessantly. The first time I had just woken up about 8 pm. The lights were off and I was just laying in bed trying to decide if I wanted to get up. Hubs was still asleep. (did I tell you he works nights too? well he does if I didn't)

BAM BAM BAM..

I don't get up.

A. If you know us. You know better than to come by our house at 8pm on a work day.

B. There are some kids in the complex who knock on the door to be funny. I just let them bang till they go away. I mean there 3. It's no biggie.

and C. I just wasnt in the mood to answer the door.

A little time passes, probably I'd say 30 minutes. By now, I've gotten up, but was still slushing around the house in the dark., playing on my cell, texting.. but still there is no sign that anyone is home and awake.

BAM BAM BAM!!

Again, I'm debating getting it.. But I am curious now because they've come back a second time. I look out the window and see NeighborGurl in front of my door. I stand there for a minute, cursing, because I've had a run in with this girl before about buying some of our furniture and lets just say it didn't end pretty. I gave her a price, which was well below fair, just to get rid of the stuff, made it clear to her that she couldn't have it til we left AND she still came at me like she deserved to have it for free. TOTALLY rubbed me wrong. She then harassed me for weeks about it and gave me way low ball offers and Hubs had to go and tell her boyfriend to make sure that I wasn't willing to sell her the stuff and she needed to kick rocks.

But apparently, she didn't get the hint.

Crackheads are like that you know.

She's out there tapping her foot, dressed in a old bikini top and some weird MC Hammer pants that I didn't quite understand.

But I do open it.. and she is gone.. Poof.. Crack head be gone!

I sit down, thinking that maybe she'd figured out we weren't home. (or just weren't going to answer the door)

BUT THEN: She comes back.

BOOM BOOOOOOM BOOOMMMM BOOOOOOOOOOMM

Ok, NOW you've made me mad.

Hubs is now semi awake.. and if Poppa Bear wakes up from his slumber the whooole world better watch out.

I stand up, with my hand on the door knob when I hear.. "That b***h betta open this door, cuz I know she be in there!"

Excuse me? Seriously? You reallyyy must not know me.

"What?" I say as I open the door has wide as the chain will go.

I'm staring her in the face. She knows I heard what she said.

"Um, well I came to tell you my mom will buy your.. blaaa blaa blaaaaaaaaaaaa" As her sentences went on she just got LOUDER AND LOUDER and talked FASTER AND FASTER..

"Look, I've already told you. A. I'm still using the stuff for 2 more months and B. You have already made me mad because you didn't seem to be getting that message AND because you gave me two low ball prices, when I'm already selling the stuff dirt cheap. I am not selling them too you. I don't care if I have to take the (cuss word) to the dump, YOU ARE NOT GETTING THEM. Do you UNDERSTAND?? AM I USING SLOW ENOUGH WORDS FOR YOU??"

Ok that was rude. But really.. I wasn't havin her at my doorstep talking crazy to me.

"WELL my mom is coming tomorrow and she really wants them AND WE WILL BE WILLING TO PAY YOU 50 DOLLARS AND WE WANT THEM NOW AND AND AND AND!!"

Seriously?

So I say, " LOOK. YOU NEED TO be quuuuuuuuuuuuuieet.. I am right here. I can hear you just fine."

"What the (more cussing) for?" She says, with her hands on her hips and a ciggy in between too fingers.

"Because my husband is sleeping. And TRUST me when I say this you, if he wakes up and has this conversation with you, it will not be as nice as I am being. " And I really wasn't bein all that nice.

"WELL YOU BETTER GET US THAT STUFF RIGHT NOW! WE WANT IT TOMMORROW!!"

"Cindy, I'm gonna tell you one last time. You aren't getting it. The next time you show up on my doorstep, or play your loud rap concert music, or so much as look in my direction the wrong way, I'm callin the cops.. do you get that?? And if you or your momma show up here tommorrow banging on my door and disrespecting me.. I'm callin then too. "

By then she's pacing.. back and forth, back and forth..

"WELL FINE. YOU DO THAT"... she was getting ready to say something else but I shut the door.

Whew! How many more months do I have to live here again?!?!?!

I need a crack exterminator.

44 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, that is INSANE!!!!! Geez! Makes my nosey-complaining-about-my-dogs neighbor seem nice!

    Congrats-first sits commenter today! Loved your speech!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow....I would hate to have neighbors like that!! I would be careful around there...piss off a crack head and there is no telling what they will do!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hmmm, you might want to watch your back....she sounds more than a little nuts!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, she reminds me of my boyfriend's ex-wife (she's referred to as Psycho Meth Ho on my blog). You have to watch those people, they are crazy! You never know what they might do. Seriously!

    ReplyDelete
  5. There goes the neighborhood...

    You were totally #1 on SITS this morning! But, then again, maybe it was because you were awake dealing with a crack-head neighbor... but, hey, whatever works, right? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your neighbor and mine must be related! Mine is a crack head too and that is what they do, the pace back and forth and stumble over their words. I would have knocked her out! Tell her to get off the pipe and then worry about buying things. She probably would have bought stuff from you then sold it for dope. That's what they do.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh good lord! You may need to move! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh man! im coming over to watch this craziness! free entertainment! hahahha...totally teasing you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Any thought that it might be meth? Just wondering...BTW, don't forget: Please come on over and check out my Silly Sunday Sweepstakes!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh my God, Rocksee, Alaska in the dead of winter will seem like a stroll in Hawaii after neighbors like these. You really do rock.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That would scare me. Seriously, I would go in the back of my house and hide. Yikes! And that lady in the pic? Minus about 20 years and she looks like the meth head I was talking about in my post! :(
    Scary!
    Macey

    ReplyDelete
  12. And I thought our living situation was bad! Good god, we've had to call the cops on them for what we thought was meth, but they don't come knocking on our door. Gosh, I'm sorry, that sounds awful! Thanks for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey! Visiting from SITS! That is crazy.. er shes crazy! I'm sorry you live by "one of those" lol.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow that is one neighbor that I would NOT miss! She sounds CRAZY!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. OH MY GOD! You poor thing. Thats it... you're moving in with me. I HATE crackheads. blah!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Congrat on being 1st on sits... I am totally feeling the crazy neighbor thing, I used to have a few and well, lets just say they were only noisy at night... "bed room noise" all night long! Can't a girl get some sleep!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh my goodness friend!
    I am praying to the small g god of jobs and realty that something comes up in AK.
    Seriously, this craZEEness will prepare you for anything.
    You've got infinite patience.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yo Rocksee!! Yay for being #1!! Man I hear you on the crackhead thing...I used to live in Palmdale...crackheads galore!! I can't wait to hear what happens if she comes back again!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh no, I'm so sorry, I used to work nights and I know what it like when you get awakened. What nerve some people have. Good for you for standing your ground.

    I saw you were number one on SITS.. Just hopped over to say hi.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congrats on being number one on SITS. I can't believe that happened to you. That's hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  21. OMG--I think that is my neighbor. Seriously. I once had our cracked out neighbor try to pawn me her wedding ring for $20 .... w/ the promise that she cared a lot about it...so she would definitely come back if I just gave her the $20..because she was real, real, real sick and had to buy her "medicine..." I'm mean--I told her to blow smoke up someone else's ....err.. nevermind.
    Hang in there. Moving will be so much more fun.....thinking of gettin' away from that.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Get your butt to the frozen wilds of Alaska, stat!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think you handled it the best way you could. What is her problem?!?! Why can't she wait?!?! Your right she sound like a crack head!

    ReplyDelete
  24. What a story! Whew! Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sounds like your move can't come too soon!

    ReplyDelete
  26. WOW!!! She definately sounds like shes on something. I hope fo your sake she got your point. Good Luck!

    ReplyDelete
  27. LMAO...damn crackheads! Hopefully she will leave you alone. That moves needs to hurry up and get here. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  28. She is SEXY!! Why won't you be nice to her? Meanie!
    hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ok, now I want you to post something new because I love reading your posts, BUT also? This ugly face keeps popping up on my dashboard and it's creepin' me out! : )
    NeighborGurl.......makes me wanna hurl... :)
    Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  30. If I knew a good crackhead exterminator...I'd send them to you right away!!

    Come and see me...left you an award :)

    xoxo ~Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  31. HOly cow! I would call the cops anyway just for kicks. Seriously, what a scary person. I wouldn't have been as brave as you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'd say it's meth. If that's a real pic of her it's definitely meth.

    You aren't staying at Fairview Manor, are you? If you are, then take that cabin out on CHSR.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh wait, I just realized you aren't in Fairbanks yet. Just don't take an apartment at Fairview Manor! A cabin on CHSR or up in the Goldstream Valley would be much better.

    ReplyDelete
  34. It would make me a little nervous to have crackheads living next door! Can't blame you for counting the days until you move!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am cracking up...even DH stopped to check out the picture. Too funny!

    PS I tagged you with the keepsake award!

    lifeasag.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  36. What a freak! Loved the way you told her! hehe

    ReplyDelete
  37. Wow your neighbor sounds like a real piece of work!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Ahh, your blog is back to it's beautiful self... :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. Whoa, she must be on crack! So did her mom ever come?

    ReplyDelete
  40. Crazy! Next time open the door holding your phone with your index finger on the police speed dial button...

    ReplyDelete
  41. i left u a tag! come on by and collect if you have the time! peace out yo

    ReplyDelete