Me: So NeighborTot, it's good of you to sit down with me. You are quite famous around the hood. Yesterday I saw RedneckNeighbor's dog loose, what are your thoughts about RedneckPooch?
NeighborTot: Well Rocksee, thanks for having me. It's not often when a 7 year old can be a famous neighborhood icon. But I try to maintain my street cred. It's a big help with the ladies.
See I hate RedneckPooch. He's always coming over trying to mess with Rainbow Brite, my dog. I think he wants to make fun of him for being called Rainbow Brite. I hit him in the head with my Star Wars light sabre that I got for my birthday. He ran back home. Dumb dog. Doesn't he know it's plastic?
Me: Apparently not! So NT I saw that the phone company was at your house the other day. Why were you yelling at the phone man? You were saying some very colorful words!
NT: Well Rocksee, he was there to cut us off. I mean the phone is in my name and I am not about to have bad credit already. I mean I'm only 7. I've got to stand up for myself. So I told him to take his cut off notice and kick rocks!
Me: NT, were my eyes decieving me or did you try to drive the car the other night?
NT: I did. Maybe not the brightest move. Mami was not happy.
Me: Why is that? I saw her running out of the house after you..
NT: She got all bent out of shape. I made it down the drive way. It's not like I drove to McDonalds.
Me: NT, be honest, what is the real reason that you dance in the front yard? I never hear any music. Are you just trying to be funny? The passing cars really seem to get a kick out of you.
NT: Well Rocksee, actually, theres this girl. NeighborTottie, who lives two doors down. She told my brother that she likes how I dance. So I kept doing it, thinking maybe she'd want to come out and play with me. Theres not alot of places to mingle when you are 7. I have to do what I can. Remember, I have a rep to uphold.
Me: Hows your nose?? I saw you hit yourself with the boomarang. Is everything ok with that?
NT: See I don't understand how everyone seems to know about my nose. YES I am ok. YES I may have gotten slightly confused about how a boomarang works. YES, I may have broken my nose a little. But I think it's given me a more grown up look. Plus chics kinda dig my scar.
Me: What was with all the smoke the other night? I saw Poppi out with a garden hose sprinkling off the neighbors yard.
NT: I maaaaaaaay have started a very small SMALL fire. VERY SMALL. Poppi gets so emotional about everything! He's all yelling and saying how bad I am. I was just trying to help the neighbors. The grass was so tall and they needed to mow it and since I am too short to push the mower AND I have skills in exploding things.. I thought maybe I could help them. Poppi apparently didn't see it that way.
I had to say like 500 hail mary's for that AND I am out of commission till school starts.
Me: Grounded in the summer... that's a bummer! Well that's about all the time we have! Thanks for stopping by NeighborTot!