I'd just like to thank you for moving in. Ever since you came into our little humble abode, we have not only gained a constant source of entertainment, but my blog readership has increased 10 fold.
Monday, I'd really like to thank you for having a huge fist fight in our front lawn. I'm not sure which one of your baby mama's boyfriend's you were forcefully knocking into the middle of next week, but you managed to only get minimal blood on your wife beater shirt.
I would also like to really thank you.. I mean REALLY thank you for making me throw up in my mouth a little bit as I watched you tounge wrestle not only one BUT TWO of the finest looking women this side of the trailer park in the front yard, shortly after the baby mama drama fist fight.. Neither of the women were your crack infested, live-in who regularly bangs on my door at all hours. Oh no.. You had two brand new hotties with you and I use that term very loosely. Making up must be hard to do.
Not only did you tounge wrestle two women at the same time, but you made sure it was romantic, on a ratty, hole infested blanket in the front yard, on TOP of the broken glass, dirty diapers and cig butts.
That's classy. Nobody can accuse you of not treating a lady right.
Oh.. and another thing, thanks grilling in the front yard and leaving the grill outside for 4 days, with the lid open and food still on it.
I love the smell of rancid hot dogs in the middle of a midwestern summer. Yummy.
So thanks, really. I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood you slimy little punk. We are so happy to have a free Jay-Z concert everynight. Some people have to pay 90.00 to hear that.
OH and PS: Your bedroom is right next to ours. SO yes, we can hear you to answer your question.
and PSS: The Hammer Pants went out of style somewhere around 1993. Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Em'