Once upon a time.. there was a girl who lived in the hood.
She moved to the ghetto from her nice house on the hill, in order to save money to travel to a far distant land.
Her small ghetto house was in one of the worst areas of the city. With two chains on the door and a bat in the corner, she only felt a small measure of safety.
There were bottles in the front yard, trash from the across the street neighbor, diapers laying all over .. it was a mess..
Oh the things she did for her dreams!
Ya'll seriously.. I live in the hood. The straight up ghetto. I live in one of the worst area's of our city. Why you ask? For the cheap rent!
All the things I said above are true. Diapers, beer bottles, loud yelling screaming matches between neighbors.. I have heard and seen it all.
But the funniest.. BY FAR THE BEST thing that I have seen happen in the Cottonhood.. went down today.
Now the people that live to the east of me, are not good people. I will just leave it at that and let you trust in how I know that they aren't very nice. There is a mom who is about my age, a dad (I think) a brother, 2 uncles and 4 children that live in a 400 sq foot 1 bedroom apartment.
Ohhhh yes.. you can imagine.
But my next door neighbor.. she is loud and mean and very rude. She does not talk in a normal conversational voice. She SCREAMS. She yells at the kids, she yells at her daddy,brother, uncles.. She yells at the postman, the electric man (when he was trying to cut off her power) and everyone in between.
She gives me big scary looks when she is outside and I walk to my car. I don't want to mess with her.
Anyways a band of Jehovah's came through the neighborhood passing out fliers to come to Kingdom Hall. They rang my door bell and I took my flier and said thanks.. just then I realized they were heading next door. Here's how it happened.
Neighbor: "Whatchu want?"
Jehovah: "Um mamm' we are from the Jehovah.."
Neighbor: " Whoooa WHOA WHOA! You hovah's don't love the lord.. I know whatchu about"
Jehovah: "Actually mamm we believe in .."
Neighbor: "Did I ax you what you believed in???!! NO..! You could believe in Harry Potter for all I care..! Im gonna give you 2 seconds to get off my door step get on yo lil bikes and peddle yo asses on out of here!"
Jehovah: "Well we are sorry, but we really just wanted to (and you know how they don't get the hint?) invite you to our church.."
Neighbor: "TO YO CHURCH! OHHH HELL NO! GET OFF MY PROPERTY NOW!!!"
And the funniest thing I've ever seen happened. My crazy neighbor lady bolts out of the house with a broom and a bat in her hand and chases those two little Jehovah boys to the bikes... She starts whooping the bikes with her bat as the two little Jehovah boys start peddling off in fear.
" I told em! I told em they aint gonna be talkin to me bout no Hovah Witness!"
Man I love the hood..